


The One Where They're Super Domestic

by goldfishsunglasses



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Bed & Breakfast, Blow Jobs, Cooking, Face-Fucking, Fluff and Smut, Future Fic, Hammocks, Hand Jobs, Hot Tub Sex, M/M, Older Characters, Outdoor Sex, Rimming, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-04-14 21:21:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4580583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldfishsunglasses/pseuds/goldfishsunglasses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fluffy domestic phan with a generous helping of smut</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Hammock

**Author's Note:**

> This features 37 year old Dan and 41 year old Phil. If thats a squick don't read on.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil do the do in a hammock while their kids are at camp.

The ride back from the airport was laced with anticipation. Dan and Phil had just dropped off their two preteen (preteen! When did they get so old?) children to catch a flight to the U.S. so they could attend camp there. Their children were thrilled at the opportunity to travel overseas, however Dan and Phil were excited for an entirely different reason. This was the first time in almost 13 years that they would be alone for an extended period, and both men intended to take full advantage of this. Dan looked over at Phil, who was sitting next to him in the backseat of the car they were taking home. In their younger days, they would have been all over each other at this point, hidden from prying eyes by darkened windows. Somehow, they managed to keep their hands to themselves for entire the journey home.

Later that day, Dan peered out the large bay window that overlooked their spacious garden. Phil was re-reading a Stephen King novel while relaxing in the hammock. Dan smiled to himself, taking a moment to realize how lucky he was to have the life he did. He had an amazing husband, two beautiful children, a great job, a cute dog, and now the freedom and time to properly enjoy the first thing. Dan knew just how to get Phil into the mood. Dan loved to tease Phil, until his dominant side took control; today's plan was no different. Smirking to himself, he quickly made his way outside.

Phil was so engrossed in the harrowing plot that he almost didn't notice his husband until he was standing right above him.

"What do you need, love?" he asked

"Nothing, just wanted to take advantage of this beautiful sunshine."

Phil raised his eyebrows in amusement.

"But, you hate the sun, why are you really out here?"

"I do not, and maybe I just wanted to spend some time with you"

Phil smiled, and slipping the bookmark into his novel, patted the small space next to him on the hammock for Dan to join.

"Not yet," Dan smiled wickedly.

Phil sat up slightly, very interested now. He loved when Dan got in these moods. Usually they only had time for a quickie -- all muffled sounds and quick thrusts -- but he knew that today he could take his time ravishing his still beautiful husband. He watched hungrily as Dan started to remove his clothing. Soon, Dan stood before Phil in only his boxer briefs. 

"Take. Those. Off." Phil said, his voice low and husky.

"But Phil, what would the neighbors think!" protested Dan. He clutched his chest, feigning innocence.

"You know damn well we don't have any neighbors close enough to see, and anyways you're such an exhibitionist, you'd enjoy it." 

Dan, reminded of his favorite kink, blushed. Phil always knew exactly what to say to turn him on, and he loved it. He quickly shed his pants, and climbed into the hammock with Phil. 

"Your turn," he smirked.

"Nope, yours," Phil shot back as he folded his hands behind his head and leaned back. "Go on, let's see if you can do it without falling off"

Dan grinned at the challenge, and went to unbutton Phil's shirt, revealing the light dusting of chest hair he loved to bury his face in. He resisted that urge now as he helped Phil slip his arms out of the sleeves and toss the shirt to the side. The hammock rocked violently as they moved around and for a moment Phil worried it wouldn't be able to withstand the activities they had planned, but that thought was quickly put out of his mind as he felt Dan's long fingers start to work the button of his "dad shorts" (lovingly nicknamed by Dan) and pull them down. Dan was practically drooling when he saw Phil completely nude underneath, and Phil chuckled. 

"Did you think you were the only one with plans for today, darling?"

"You spoon," was all Dan could think to retort before Phil grabbed his chin and captured his mouth in a sweet kiss. Phil slid his shorts the rest of the way off and for a moment they just lay there, enjoying the freedom that their children's lengthy absence allowed. 

"Okay, old man, are we just gonna lay here all day, or are you gonna bang me already?"

Phil rolled over on top of Dan, nearly upsetting the hammock as he did so. He tried to push himself up on his elbows but it didn't work and he collapsed back on top of Dan with a grunt.

"Get off of me, you weirdo!" Dan laughed.

Phil rolled back off.

"Okay, obviously we are going about this the wrong way."

"Wait, I have a better idea, stand up."

Phil obliged, and Dan dragged him by the hips until he was standing perpendicular to the hammock. Dan pushed the naked form of his husband down until he was sitting sideways and let out a triumphant sigh.

"Daniel?"

"Yes, Philip?"

"Did you just turn this innocent hammock into a...sex swing?"

"That depends."

"On what?"

"On whether this works,"

Phil looked the other man up and down.

"Are you going to finger yourself, baby?"

"Oh shit! Lube!" Dan turned to run back inside, his half hard dick bouncing as he did so. Phil turned his head to admire the view. Dan returned a moment later holding up the bottle with a cheeky grin. 

"Sorry, we were all out of cherry," he joked.

"Come over here, Daniel" Phil purred.

 Dan shivered at the tone and did as Phil demanded. He knew Phil liked to watch him, so he turned around and leaned over, ass up in the air on full display. He squirted a generous amount of lube on his fingers and placed the bottle on the grass. Dan slowly inserted one lube slick finger inside himself. He heard Phil's quiet noise of approval and he took that as permission to add a second finger. He scissored his fingers for a moment until he felt Phil's hand grasp his thigh, signaling that it was time. Dan wiped his hand on the grass and picked the bottle up, making sure Phil got an eyeful as he stood up and turned around. 

"Lube me up, Dan," Phil smirked.

"Don't kill the mood, you spork" He chuckled, as he stroked Phil's fully erect dick.

Phil smiled mischievously, and spread his legs.

Dan swallowed. All these years later, this sight was still as hot as it was in 2009. 

Dan climbed into the hammock, straddling Phil. He slowly lowered himself down, allowing Phil to bottom out with a gasp. They sat like that, staring into each others eyes, and feeling the gentle sway from the breeze before Dan finally started to move. Phil grabbed his waist and forced him to increase his speed. 

"Ah...Phil...aaah," Dan cried as Phil began to thrust up. Dan buried his head in Phil's neck as he heard the telltale increase in the other's breathing. He clenched his muscles around Phil as he felt him start to come, and met his lips in a smoldering kiss.

Exhausted and spent, Phil helped Dan off him. They lay back down in the hammock, and without a word, Phil began to stroke Dan's still hard dick. Dan came with a small shout moments later. Not caring about the mess covering him, he rolled over to spoon Phil from behind. Phil might be the dominant one in their relationship, but he allowed Dan this privilege. Dan peppered Phil's back with sweet kisses.

"I can't believe we get two weeks of this."

"Okay, but next time, can we use the bed? I'm officially too old for for hammocks."

"You got it, you old fart." 

 


	2. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's date night at the Dan and Phil house!  
> (I forgot to add that the song is Draw your Swords by Angus and Julia Stone. Give it a listen while reading the last bit, trust me)

“Daniel, dear! We need to take the dog for a walk now if we want to have time for the farmers market!” Phil called out.

“You and your bloody farmers markets.” Dan grumbled.

Phil smiled fondly at his sleepy husband.

“You know we have to get there early or all of the good produce will be gone. Then we won’t be able to make that recipe you wanted tonight.”

This got Dan’s attention. He and Phil had planned this date night together weeks ago, as soon as they knew they would have the time. Dan wanted to try his hand at a pasta dish he found online. Phil had been begging to visit the local farmers market, and Dan wanted to indulge him. He relished any opportunity he had to make Phil happy.

Dan whistled. “C’mere Larry!”

An excitable English sheepdog came running down the hall, nails clacking loudly on the hardwood floor.

Phil shook his head. “I still can’t believe I let your name our dog Larry.”

“At least it wasn’t doge”

“Dan, even I know that meme is long dead.”

“No, it’s not! It’s still cool.” Dan insisted.

“It’s been 15 years, let it go.”

Dan went to get the lead, muttering to himself, and Phil admired the view as he walked away. He could hear the radio playing softly through the house, and it was strange to hear someone doing the morning show that wasn’t them. Several years ago they had taken over that coveted spot, but this week they were on holiday.

Phil slipped his hand into Dan’s larger one as they were dragged out the front door and down the stone walkway. Larry stopped to relieve himself, and both men turned around to look back at their house. It was everything they had dreamed of, right down to the koi pond in the garden. After so many rocky years in their relationship, they were glad these past years had been so wonderful.

After walking a mile down a nearby path, they came to a large field for Larry to run in. Dan released the slobbering beast, and, unable to resist any longer, grabbed Phil and dipped him into a kiss.

“What was that for?” Phil asked, breathless, his glasses knocked askew.

“I love you, and I wanted to show it. When did that become a crime?”

“It’s not, love. You’ve just been extra affectionate lately.”

“It’s a miracle I’m not always this affectionate,” quipped Dan, “Especially when I’m married to someone as hot as you.” With that he smacked Phil’s ass, and the other man’s eyes lit up.

“Oh, are we playing those kinds of games now?”

Dan swallowed. That had not originally been his intention, but he definitely wasn’t going to turn it down. Dan reached for Phil, but his hand grasped only air as Phil leapt back with a giggle.

“You have to catch me first!” He called as he ran off.

“Phil. Phiiiil! We are literally too old for this!” Dan protested, but his words were lost on Phil as his much fitter husband was running with their dog through the field.

“If you can catch me, I’ll wank you off under that tree!” He called.

This piqued Dan’s interest, and he ran after Phil. After a few moments he was huffing and puffing and had to stop. He regretted not joining the other on his daily morning jogs, especially since it was going to cost him a pretty sweet reward. He decided to play the guilt card, and flopped down on the grass, moaning in mock pain. Phil, noticing he was all alone with the exception of Larry, stopped and looked around for Dan. He saw him lying face down on the grass, and panicked. He hurried over to check on Dan and let out a sigh of relief when he turned over with a grin.

“Does this get me a sympathy wank?” Dan joked.

Phil reached out his hand and pulled him up. He wrapped the other man in a hug, and whispered in his ear. “Follow me.”

“Where’s the dog?”

Phil jerked his chin in the other direction and Dan saw the dozing form of Larry under a shade tree nearly identical to the one they were currently heading to. Phil sat down and motioned for Dan to sit in front of him. He kissed Dan’s neck and ran a hand down his stomach, stopping to finger the waistband of his tight skinny jeans.

“I still don’t know why you insist on wearing those.”

“My ass still looks great in them, that’s why.”

“True.” Phil said, “But they are very inconvenient for certain activities.

Dan took the hint and quickly shed his restrictive jeans. As he sat back down he felt the rough grass brush the back of his thighs, and he shivered.

“Ready?”

Dan nodded. Phil attached his lips to Dan’s neck again and slipped a warm hand into his pants, his fingers brushing the head of Dan's dick. He wrapped them around the base and slowly moved upwards. Dan rested his head on Phil's chest and gave in to the sensation. Moments later he felt himself coming. Phil pulled his hand out and wiped it on the grass.

“I can’t believe you made me come in my pants like a teenager!” laughed Dan as he pulled his jeans back on.

Phil smiled, remembering when Dan really was a teenager. That had happened a few times, and as much as it had embarrassed Dan, Phil had found it a total turn on. Apparently he still did.

“Wait, what about you?” Dan asked, recalling Phil’s erection poking him in the back during their previous activity.

“Don’t worry; I think I can manage the walk home. You can take care of me after we clean you off.”

Dan licked his lips at the thought. The walk home seemed to take longer than the one there because of the anticipation. Dan was also extremely uncomfortable due to the mess in his jeans, but he knew he would get relief  soon. Somehow he made it home without tackling Phil to the ground, but only just. After depositing Larry in the garden, they made their way to the shower in the master bedroom, tearing their clothes off as they went.

Phil stepped into the large shower and turned it on to a desirable temperature. Dan practically salivated over the sight of Phil’s half hard dick bouncing as he moved around. He couldn’t wait to get his lips around it. Phil beckoned Dan into the shower, and Dan obliged almost immediately. Phil positioned him directly under the spray, and gently washed the drying cum off of his cock. Once Dan was deemed clean enough, Phil took him by the waist and switched positions. He brought his hands up to Dan’s shoulders and pushed him down on his knees. He stroked his cock twice until it was completely hard, and looked down at Dan.

“Suck.” He commanded.

Dan eagerly leaned forward and took Phil’s erection in his mouth. Phil threw his head back in ecstasy as he felt Dan’s plump lips envelop him. Dan pulled off of him and licked a stripe up his dick, from the base to the tip. He ran his tongue over the slit and Phil moaned loudly. Dan had not heard Phil moan like that in a while, and the noise sent tingles down his spine. He started to tease Phil, just lightly running his tongue over the tip, but he felt a hand grab his hair.

"Dan. Farmers market. Hurry up." Phil panted out.

Dan chuckled. Only Phil would speed up a steamy shower for the sake of dinner. To be fair, this was a special dinner, and Dan knew that Phil wanted it to be perfect. He decided to pull out a move he knew would speed up this process. Dan wrapped his hand around the base of Phil's dick and began to slowly rotate his hand. He took the rest in his mouth and sucked greedily, increasing the speed of his hand. His other hand held Phil's waist for stability, and he felt Phil start to shake moments before coming in Dan's mouth. Dan swallowed with a smile, looking up at the loving face of his husband.

"That view never gets old." Laughed Phil.

"The view from down here is quite nice as well." Dan replied.

Phil held out his hand to help Dan up, and after toweling each other off, they made their way to the bedroom to get dressed.

"Do you want me to call a car, or do you just want to ride our bikes?" Phil inquired.

"It's such a nice day, let's take the bikes."

Phil's eyebrows shot up. Usually given the opportunity, Dan would choose a car. When Phil brought this up, Dan dismissed him quickly with a wave of his hand.

"I'm just enjoying all of this one on one time with you, okay? Besides, I could use the exercise." said Dan as he jokingly patted his slight tummy pudge.

"You know I love every inch of you exactly the way you are, right?"

"If the way you can never keep your hands off me is any indication, then yes I do."

Phil felt the urge to take Dan in his arms and nuzzle his neck, but he pushed it down in favor of grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze. They walked in companionable silence to the shed that housed their bikes. Dan opened the door and they were greeted with the sight of their children's bikes lying in heap. They had forgotten to put them away properly, and Dan sighed out of both exasperation and affection. Both men had to work together to retrieve their own bikes from the mess, and Phil nearly fell into a pile of assorted toys.

"I miss them." Phil said suddenly.

"I do too." said Dan.

They looked for a moment at the items surrounding them, and then remembered their mission for the day.

"Fucking hell, we're never going to make it to the market at this rate."

"Jesus Phil, we will get your precious aubergines, don't worry."

Phil grinned, and swinging his leg over his bike, shouted "Race you!"

Dan laughed out loud, and quickly followed him. He knew Phil would probably beat him, but it warmed his heart that they could still laugh and joke and play like they used to.

The ride to the market was a quick one, even with Dan lagging behind. They leaned their bikes against a nearby tree and made their way to the crowded stalls. Phil pulled out his phone to read the list of ingredients for the recipe. Dan had picked out a simple and delicious looking pasta dish for tonight, and Phil couldn’t wait to try it. The list read:

-extra-virgin olive oil

-One courgette

-One aubergine

-garlic

-One jar whole cherry tomato and basil sauce

-100g baby chestnut mushrooms

-150g egg tagliatelle

-75g mozzarella

-basil leaves

“Where to, babe?” asked Dan.

“Let’s go get that olive oil you like, we’re running low.”

 Dan smiled; he loved how well Phil knew him. He was well acquainted with how picky Dan was about his ingredients, and while he acted like the trip to the market was for Phil’s benefit, it was Dan who refused to shop anywhere else.  Dan did most of the cooking in the house. Phil helped occasionally, but mostly he watched. He loved to watch Dan chop and stir and sauté. He knew it was cheesy and domestic, but it was soothing. He was snapped out of his daydream by Dan literally snapping his fingers. 

“Earth to Phil; what’s got you so distracted?”

“You…I mean just thinking about tonight.”

“Can’t wait for that pasta, huh?”

“Something like that.” Phil smiled. He slipped his arm around Dan’s waist and pulled him close. He kissed him on the cheek, light as a feather, and Dan felt it all the way to his toes.

“If only you knew the things I have planned for you tonight.”

Dan gulped as Phil pulled away.

“So, the olive oil…where is it?” he asked, trying to regain his composure as quickly as he could.

“I think it’s in one of the smaller stalls on the other side.”

“Let’s go then.” Dan said.

Hand in hand, they walked over to the vendor selling the oil, and purchased a small bottle. It was very pricey, but in Dan’s opinion, worth it.

“What next?”

“We need to go get some vegetables, pasta, and mozzarella. I think we already have the jarred tomatoes and we can use the basil growing the garden.”

“To the veggies!” Dan shouted dramatically.

Phil rolled his eyes and gave Dan an affectionate pinch on the waist.

“Please never change.”

Dan kissed his cheek and hurried off in the direction of the produce stand, leaving Phil behind.

“Wait, Dan! I have the list!” He called, but it was no use. Dan was already there, chatting amiably with Janice, their favorite vendor.

“Hello Phil, it’s great to see you again. How can I help you today?”

“Hey, Janice. We need an aubergine, a courgette, and about 100 grams of chestnut mushrooms please.”

“Here you go, dears.” She said, handing them the paper bag with their purchases.

“How much?” Phil asked.

“It’s on the house today. I know how special tonight is.” She winked.

“Dan! What did you tell her?”

“Just that it was date night, don’t be a spoon.”

Both Dan and Janice chuckled as Phil turned pink.

Trying to maintain some of his dignity, Phil cleared his throat and look down at the list.

“Right, we still need to get the pasta—“

“You mean tagliatelle.”

“Oh excuse me; we need whatever the hell Daniel just said, and some fresh mozzarella.”

“Well let’s get a move on, nerd.”

They waved goodbye to Janice and went off in search of the last two items. Once they were done they deposited everything into the basket on the back of Phil’s bike, and rode off.

They pulled back up to the house. Dan helped Phil carry the bags in, and quickly set to work on dinner.

“How can I help?” asked Phil

Dan looked up from where he was chopping vegetables.

“Can you salt a pot of water and put it on the burner please?”

Phil did as he was asked, and turned, awaiting further instruction.

"When the water starts boiling, add the pasta. In the meantime, you can sit and watch me." Dan chuckled. Phil didn't think he knew about the cooking thing, but he did. Cooking for Phil was one of the ways Dan expressed his love, and he cooked for him a lot. Dan remembered the first time he had tried to cook for Phil. It was the morning after their first time, and he had woken up early He wanted to make something special, but all he knew how to cook at the time was scrambled eggs. He learned later that Phil hated eggs, and he had been mortified. Phil assured him he didn't mind, but the memory still stuck with Dan.

Phil watched as Dan continued chopping, and started to reminisce about the first time Dan had cooked for him. It was 2009 and Dan had come to visit. Dan had made eggs for one of their 3 hour breakfasts, not realizing how much Phil hated them. Phil had eaten every last bite. Even during the rough patches in their relationship, Dan's cooking was the one constant Phil could depend on.

"It’s a good thing your taste buds decided to let you like cheese." said Dan.

Phil smiled and opened his mouth to speak.

Dan cut him off before he could say anything.

 "Yes I do remember the cheese challenge. And the second one. And the third."

"Hey, it was your idea to turn that into a thing." protested Phil.

Dan smiled affectionately, before turning back around to finish chopping.

"Grab me a pan please?"

"The cast iron one?"

"Yeah, can you find it?"

Phil, rummaged through several cabinets before finding it, and he took special care to close them back. Dan had broken him of that habit after they had adopted their first child.

Dan heard the familiar noise of the pan being placed on the burner.

"You're gonna need 3 tablespoons of the olive oil for that, then I'll add the vegetables. I think the water is boiling as well."

The rest of the prep continued smoothly, and Dan added the final ingredient. Shredding the mozzarella, he mixed it in and portioned out two plates.  Phil was already in the dining room, pouring them glasses of wine.

Walking into the other room, Dan gasped. Phil had dimmed the lights and lit several candles. In the past, he would have groaned at the cheesy display, but he allowed his future self to enjoy things unironically now.

The sounds of a piano wafted through the house, and Dan recognized it as one of his own compositions he had written for Phil. He noticed two of the chairs pushed next to each other, and sat down. Phil made his way over and cuddled up next to him. He smiled at Dan as he placed his left hand on Dan's leg.

"How am I meant to eat with you distracting me?"

Phil ran his hand up and down.

"I think you'll figure out a way." he smirked.

Dan tried to eat slowly and savor the delicious meal, but it was difficult with the increasing sexual tension crackling between them. Phil wasn't having much more luck. His plan to tease Dan had backfired, and he could feel himself growing hard.

They finished in near silence, both quickly moving to put their plates in the kitchen.

With the piano music still playing softly in the background, Phil took Dan’s hands in his and pulled him close. He placed his hands on his hips and Dan’s hands on his shoulders. They began to sway gently and Dan lowered his head to rest it on Phil’s chest. Suddenly overcome with emotion, he whispered.

“You are the best thing that has ever been mine.”

Normally Phil would call Dan out for the cheesy Taylor Swift quote, but he didn’t want to break the spell.

The song changed from the mellow classical music that had been playing while they ate. It was slow and sexy and just right for the mood. He pressed his lips to Phil’s and started to push him backwards out the door to their garden. Their kisses became deeper as they struggled to get their clothes off without breaking contact.

_“See her come down, through the clouds_

_I feel like a fool_

_I ain’t got nothing left to give"_

_Nothing to lose”_

“Jump.”

_“So come on Love, draw your swords_

_Shoot me to the ground_

_You are mine, I am yours_

_Let’s not fuck around”_

Dan did as Phil instructed, and Phil caught him, hands under his thighs.

_“Cause you are, the only one”_

Phil peppered Dan’s neck with kisses, soft at first.

_“Cause you are, the only one”_

He bit down and Dan let out a breathy moan. He sucked hard enough to leave a bruise.

“More.” Dan pleaded.

_“I see them snakes come through the ground_

_They choke me to the bone_

_They tie me to their wooden chair_

_Here are all my songs”_

Phil smoothly laid Dan down on a lounge chair and climbed on top of him. He pulled himself up for better access and began to leave a series of dark marks all down his lover’s body. He buried in face in Dan’s inner thigh, and Dan’s dick sprang to full attention.

“Wait, not here.”

Phil, reading Dan’s mind as usual, picked him up again and made his way to the hot tub he had prepared while Dan was cooking dinner. He helped Dan inside, following after. Almost immediately, Dan pressed against him and ground down, earning a low moan from Phil.

“Are you ready, love?”

Dan nodded and Phil slid a finger inside him. He curled it unhurriedly, and Dan cried out from the feeling. While Dan was distracted, Phil slipped another finger in, and Dan pressed down, almost riding them. Phil pulled his fingers out, and raised Dan up. He positioned his cock at Dan’s entrance, and pushed in gradually.

_“So come on Love, draw your swords_

_Shoot me to the ground_

_You are mine, I am yours_

_Let’s not fuck around”_

Dan pressed his forehead to Phil’s as he pulled up and lowered himself back down at a tantalizingly slow pace. Phil held eye contact for as long as he could before the intense waves of pleasure forced his eyes closed.

_“Cause you are, the only one”_

Phil thrust up as Dan moaned his name.

_“Cause you are, the only one”_

Dan scratched his nails down Phil’s back, leaving red marks behind.

_“The only”_

Phil pressed his lips to the bruises adorning Dan’s neck, and Dan shivered.

_“Cause you are, the only one”_

“I love you.”

“I know.”

Dan snorted softly at his nerd, and returned his focus.

_“Cause you are, the only one”_

“I’m close.” Phil murmured.

_“The only one”_

“I want to come with you.”

_“The only one”_

Phil took Dan’s erection and quickly began to pump it.

_“The only one”_

Both men came with a shout, and Dan slumped down in Phil’s strong arms, his softening dick still inside him.

_“The only one”_

Dan barked out a laugh.

“That was amazing.”

Phil laughed as well.

“My bones feel like jelly. Let’s never move from here.”

“Good thing this tub has a decent filter.”

Phil rolled his eyes at his husband.

“Next time though, we really need to do this in our bed, my back can’t take much more.”

“Whatever you say, babe.”


	3. Remember When?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lazy day in bed turns into a game of remember when.

Phil felt his bones creak as he gradually began to wake up. Taking a moment to carefully extricate himself from Dan’s long arms, he reached over to his bedside drawer, pulled out two paracetamol and swallowed them dry. His back was killing him, and he definitely knew why. He looked over at the still sleeping form of his partner, and smiled tiredly. This man was going to kill him, he really was. He hadn’t been joking last night when he said his back couldn’t take anymore. Today was going to be a lay about. He deserved one after all he had put his body through the past two days. Phil didn’t like to think of himself as old, he was only 41, for fucks sake. However, mornings like these reminded him that he and Dan couldn’t always have the sex life they used to. He waited a bit for the painkillers to kick in before getting out of bed and making his way to the kitchen for some coffee, still nude from their activities last night. Shortly after making love, the two of them had been so exhausted they could barely dry off before falling into bed, limbs tangled together in the sheets.

Phil turned on the kettle and sat down at the kitchen table. The house was almost too quiet for comfort. He was tempted to go wake Dan up just for some company, but decided against it in favor of reading the paper while he waited for the water to boil. The sky, already a dismal shade of grey, chose that moment to open up in torrential downpour. Phil sighed. He had always hated the rain. The kettle beeped to signal it was done, and Phil got up to prepare coffee for himself and Dan. Age did nothing to improve his taste in coffee, and instant was still his number one choice. He grabbed the mugs, and had an idea. He set the steaming mugs back on the countertop and went to the pantry. He grabbed a box of Shreddies, tucked it under his arm, and opened a cabinet door to retrieve two cereal bowls. With his free hand, he grabbed a tray from where it rested against the backboard, and placed it down. He arranged the mugs, bowls, and Shreddies on the tray, and retrieved a small pitcher for the milk. Two spoons completed the look, and he stood back to admire his work. He lifted the tray, taking care not to upset the contents, and trekked back up the stairs.  
Dan was already awake by the time Phil walked back through the door and his eyes widened.

“Breakfast in bed? Did I forget an important date again?”

“No dear, just wanted to surprise you.” Phil said, amused at Dan’s reaction. He prepared a bowl for Dan, and Dan took it gratefully.  
Phil turned on the radio, and sat next to Dan on the bed, his own bowl in his hands.

“I can’t wait until we’re back on the air so the show is actually entertaining again.” Dan said through a mouthful of cereal.  
Phil rolled his eyes and gave him a loving pat on the leg.

“You say that every time we leave, no matter who the replacements are.”

“I just think we’re best for the job, that’s all.”

“Finish your cereal.”

“Yes, Daddy.” Dan joked.

Phil, having finished his own bowl, placed it on the nightstand and pulled out the book he had been reading the other day. Dan shoveled in his last two bites, and setting his bowl next to Phil’s, he leaned over and tackled him back onto the bed. Phil threw his book aside and flipped Dan over.  
“Fight me in the pit, old man!” Dan said, shaking with laughter. He pretended to struggle under Phil, then tickled his ribs. Phil squealed indignantly and rolled off him.

“That’s cheating, Dan!”

Dan gave him a peck on the nose.

“That’s life, babe.”

Laying side by side, they traded lazy kisses, hands intertwined. The rain beat heavily on the roof above them, but they were safe in their own little world.  
Phil laid his head on Dan’s abdomen, content to stay there all day. Dan pushed him off and wrapped his arms around his middle self-consciously, a habit from his youth he had never quite managed to break. Phil carefully pulled them off, and planted a kiss on the stomach of his gorgeous husband.

“Phil...no," Dan protested as he tried to cover himself back up.

Phil blew a raspberry below his navel, and looked up, determined expression a strong juxtaposition to the silly act.

“I love you. Every bit of you.” He said as he languidly made his way back up Dan’s body. He buried his face in the space where Dan’s neck met his shoulder and inhaled deeply.

“I love you here. You will always smell like warm to me, and this will always feel like home.”

He kissed his way up to Dan’s lips, finally capturing them with his own.

“I love your lips. I love kissing them, and I love when they’re kissing me. I love the feel of them around my cock and all over my body. I also love hearing the wonderful things they have to say. Daniel, you are one of the most intelligent people I know, and I could listen to you talk about any subject for hours.”

He grabbed Dan’s hand, the one not currently brushing away the tears from Phil’s eyes, and kissed each knuckle lovingly.

“I love these hands. I love everything they are capable of, which is so so much more than you give yourself credit for.”

He kissed Dan’s palm and placed his hand back down. Phil brought his mouth to Dan’s right nipple and flicked it gently with his tongue.

“I will admit I love these for purely selfish reasons. I love the noises you make when I do this, and you know how much I love your noises.”

Dan, mostly quiet during all of this, couldn’t hold back a moan any longer, and Phil looked amused.

“My point proven.” he laughed quietly.

Phil brought his face back down to Dan’s stomach and rested it there once more. After a minute of enjoying the soft curves, he brought his head down Dan’s inner thigh, and peppered it with kisses.

“I love you here. I don’t even have a good reason for this one.”

Dan had to laugh at this, and he reached down to run his fingers through Phil’s hair.

“I have absolutely no complaints about that.”

Phil continued kissing and nibbling the soft flesh, and Dan felt himself grow hard at Phil’s careful attentions.

“I want you inside me.” he said, his breathing ragged.

“As you wish, love, but first, can I do something?”

Dan nodded fervently.

Phil climbed off Dan, and nearly tumbled out of the bed in his eagerness. He grabbed Dan’s ankles and pulled him down until his feet touched the ground. Phil grabbed a pillow off a nearby chair and pulling Dan’s hips up, placed it underneath his lower back. He kneeled down and hooked Dan’s legs over his shoulders. Bringing his face down, Phil gingerly spread Dan’s cheeks and dragged his tongue across his hole. Dan moaned low and deep, the complete opposite of his usual high breathy ones. Phil swirled his tongue around the sensitive flesh before slipping it in. Dan’s dick was hard and leaking against his stomach. Phil curled his tongue and felt Dan tighten around it. Dan let out another moan, this one with his named attached to the end. He lifted himself up on his elbows to look down at Phil, face flushed, looking completely wrecked.

“I’m close.” he managed to make out.

Without missing a beat, Phil reached up and grasped Dan’s erection. He pumped it until Dan was coming, warm and sticky, all over Phil’s hand. He wiped it on the duvet, and Dan glared at him. Phil shrugged.

“Today can be laundry day.” he said.

Dan retrieved the pillow from underneath him and threw it at Phil’s head. Phil caught it and nibbled Dan’s inner thigh before lifting his legs off. Phil stood up, bowed, and fell back onto the bed. He laid down next to Dan, and Dan rotated his body to meet him. He slid inside Dan, and laid a hand on the curve of his hip, pulling him closer. He adjusted his own body to better match the others. Dan moved to touch his now softening dick, forgetting he has just come moments before. He turned back to look at Phil and Phil took the hint. He kissed Dan hard, still trying to keep his thrusts gentle. Dan pushed back against Phil, wanting to savor every inch. Phil kept up his moderate pace until he couldn’t resist any longer. His thrusts increased in intensity until he was pounding Dan’s ass. Dan cried out as Phil came. He pulled out, and slumped over, breathing heavily.

“You’re lucky you’re so damn pretty, or else I wouldn’t keep putting myself through this.” He said, eyelids fluttering closed.

“Phiiiiiiil wake up! Wake up Phil, come on!” Dan shouted teasingly as he shook his husbands shoulder.

“I am awake, I was just resting my eyes.” Phil insisted, yawning.

“Don’t tell me you’re too old for regular sex now?”

“Don’t worry, I’m still as horny as ever, I just need to rest a minute.”

“Alright, old man.”

“Need I remind you who needed a break yesterday after only a few minutes of running?”

“Remember when you finally picked up running?”

“Yes, and I also remember you declaring it physically impossible.”

“I’m just not meant to be a runner Phil, it’s not my fault.”

Phil rolled his eyes and smiled fondly.

“Remember when we took that second honeymoon to Jamaica?"

Dan grinned at the memory. He fantasized about those nights, often, usually whenever Phil was away.

“Remember when I woke up one morning covered in cat stickers?”

“I couldn’t resist! You looked so sad in your sleep.”

Phil looked thoughtful for a moment.

“Remember when we left YouTube?”

“Of course I do, it was one of the hardest things we ever did.”

“Do you ever miss it?” He asked.

“I do, but it was time to move on, Phil.”

Phil laid his head back down, feeling nostalgic.

“Remember when I predicted you would come into my life?”

“Phil, you know that could have applied to anyone.”

“No, I think it was meant to be you. The universe knew 2009 would hold great things for me, and it wasn’t wrong.”

“It was random chance.”

“Well I glad you randomly decided to start stalking me, then.”

“I’m still Phil trash number 1.” Dan laughed.

“Remember when I kissed you just now?”

“Phil, what the fuck?”

Phil leaned his head back, and planted a kiss on top of Dan’s head.

“You little shit; I thought you were going to kiss me!” Dan cried out indignantly.

“Too lazy.” Phil said, with a groan.

“Remember when I used to call you bear?"

“Why did you stop?”

“I don’t know, it just sort of happened.”

“I liked that nickname.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t really ours, was it?”

“We made it ours.”

“I guess we did. We make a lot of things ours.” Phil smiled.

Dan buried his face in Phil’s neck.

“You are so goddamn cheesy.”

Phil wrapped his arms around his husband, pulling him closer.

“Remember when we danced our our first dance to Toxic?”

Phil laughed out loud.

“Everyone’s faces were priceless!”

“Remember when we adopted our children?”

“No, Dan, that must have slipped my mind.” Phil said sarcastically, earning a playful punch on the shoulder. His stomach growled, loudly, reminding them of the time that had passed since breakfast.

“Hungry?” Dan chortled.

“Aren’t you?”

“Yes, but my body would never betray me like that.” Dan said as his stomach rumbled, louder than Phil’s. He glared at it.

“Want me to go fix something?” Phil asked.

Dan waved the question away.

“You made breakfast,” he insisted, “I can do lunch.”

“Are you going to cook in the nude? Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Who said I was going to cook?” Dan called as he stepped out the of the room and ambled down the stairs.

“Please bring actual food!” Phil pleaded, not moving from his spot on the bed.

Walking into the kitchen, Dan realized they had never properly cleaned up after last night. He figured it could wait, as he and Phil were both hungry, and Phil was no one to cross when he wanted food. He snagged some leftover mozzarella and two bottles of water from the fridge, set them on the counter and popped out to the garden to grab a tomato and a handful of basil. He set to work slicing the tomato and the mozzarella and arranged them on a plate with the basil on top. He drizzled some of his favorite oil on top and added pepper and salt. He brought the plate and waters back up the stairs to their room and presented them to Phil with flourish, setting everything on the bed.

“Lunch is served, my good sir.”

Phil responded by opening his mouth wide, and Dan held out a slice for him to bite. Little bits of tomato juice ran down Phil’s chin and Dan wiped it off with his thumb. He popped the rest in his mouth, and chewed noisily, grinning down at Phil. Phil opened his mouth again and Dan laughed.

“I think you’re old enough to feed yourself, Phil.”

Phil shook his head stubbornly and Dan fed him a much bigger bite than before. Phil’s eyes widened as he struggled to chew, and he retaliated by sticking a food covered tongue out at his giggling husband. They continued to feed each other, stopping occasionally for playful kisses. When they had finished Dan lay down, full and content.

“Really, Daniel?”

Dan patted the bed beside him.

“Join me?”

“Can I be the big spoon?”

Dan nodded, and Phil quickly crawled next him, slinging an arm and leg over his body, pulling him close. Dan snuggled into his chest, and felt himself being pulled to sleep.

When Dan woke up, Phil was gone. Dan looked around for a moment before he heard Phil call out.

“Come here, love. It’s stopped raining!”

“Five more minutes,” Dan groaned.

“Daniel we have spent nearly the entire day in bed. Come out here with me.”

Dan burrowed further under the warm covers.

“Don’t think I can’t hear you doing that!”

“All right, all right!” Dan laughed, “I’m up, see? I’m out of bed.”

“Yes, and just in time to see the sunset.” Phil called from his spot on the balcony.

“You were in bed as long as I was!”

“But at least I had the decency to put some clothes on.”

“Phil, you’re in just your pants.”

“Well put yours on, then.”

Dan grabbed a pair of plain black boxers off the floor, put them on, and walked over to Phil. He smiled when he saw Phil’s mickey mouse ones. Even with all the changes in their lives, he could always count on Phil to be a constant. Sometimes that meant being married to man who still wore Cookie Monster pajama pants, but Dan wouldn’t trade him for anything in the world.

Phil noticing Dan’s stare, smirked and twirled.

“How do I look?”

“Irresistible.” Dan grinned.

Phil reached out his hand.

“May i have this dance, Mr. Lester.” he said with mock formality.

“Oh, yes please.” Dan replied, smile widening. He grabbed Phil’s hand, and was immediately pulled against the other man’s chest. Phil spun Dan out, and pulled him in until Dan’s back was pressed against his chest. Phil ground against Dan’s ass, pulling him closer.

“Oi! Careful there, I’m still sore.” Dan winced.

“Sorry, I’ll try to be gentle.” Phil said, releasing him from his hold.

“My turn to lead,” said Dan, interlocking his fingers with Phil’s. He pulled Phil in first by his left hand, then his right, and repeated this as Phil laughed.

“What kind of dance is this, Daniel?”

“The ‘we’re nearly naked on the balcony and I love you, you bloody idiot’ dance” Dan raised their hands up and closed his eyes. He waggled his hips to the music only he could hear.

“And here we see the traditional mating dance of the elusive danisnotonfire.”

Dan’s eyes snapped open, and he smirked.

“It’s very a very effective mating dance too.”

“Oh, I know.” Phil said, a mischievous glint in his eye.

Dan shook his ass playfully, and winced again.

Phil grimaced.

“Let’s get you fixed up, sweetheart.”

He scooped Dan up, bridal style, and started to walk back through the balcony doors.

“Phil, your back.”

“No, I’m fine,” Phil said, his voice strained.

“You spoon, I’m perfectly capable of walking,” Dan said.

“Well, if you insist.”

Phil set Dan back down.

“At least let me take care of you.”

Dan nodded. He knew exactly what was on Phil’s mind. He sat on the bed, absentmindedly browsing his phone, while Phil went to go prepare a bath.  
Phil turned the taps and crumbled half of a bubble bar under the running water. He watched as the water started to turn pink. A spicy scent filled the air, and Dan, following his nose, popped in the door.

“Is that the rest of the Karma one?”

Phil nodded.

“Awesome, that one is my favorite.” Dan smiled.

Phil climbed in, and sat with his legs spread. Dan joined him, and they struggled to arrange themselves. Two men as tall as themselves taking a bath together wasn’t the most practical thing in the world, but that didn’t stop them. Dan leaned back against Phil's chest and sighed, sinking slightly into the delicious bubbles. Phil stroked his hair, and planted a kiss on top. He loved these quiet moments with Dan, and as he closed his eyes and lowered himself to meet Dan, he wondered what new adventures tomorrow would bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are very much appreciated and make my day! ^_^


	4. The Pond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan has a surprise for Phil, what could it be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a short chapter oops

Phil blinked as the sunlight streamed through his bedroom window. The first thing he noticed was that Dan’s arms were no longer encasing him. The second thing he noticed was the Sword Art Online sticky note on Dan’s pillow. It read:

went to take larry for a walk. wanted to let you get your beauty sleep. don’t eat breakfast yet. i have a surprise for you.

Phil smiled at the thoughtfulness, and enjoyed a few more moments in bed, savoring the warmth of his duvet. Deciding not to waste the day again, Phil sat up, and noticed a tent in the sheet announcing the presence of morning wood. He debated waiting for Dan to get back, but decided he could deal with it on his own. He walked into the bathroom, and turned on the shower, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for the water to reach a desirable temperature. Once inside, he leaned his head back and let the spray wash over him. Phil took plenty of time soaping up his entire body. He started with his arms, then dragging the cloth across his chest and down his stomach. Resisting temptation, he brought the cloth back up and worked to clean his back. Suddenly impatient, Phil bent over to quickly wash his legs. Satisfied, he moved to the area of his body that had been sitting neglected, waiting for attention. Phil squirted more soap on the cloth and brought it to his dick, careful to avoid the slit. Dan had made that mistake once in the shower. Once. He rubbed the sudsy cloth all over, making sure it was nice and slick. When he was satisfied it was lubed up enough, he grasped his erection. He started towards the tip, working it slowly with gentle tugs. Breathy moans escaped his lips as his hand brushed his frenulum, and he very nearly came then. He brought his hand down to the base and held it firmly, determined to make this last. He closed his eyes and thought of Dan. Thanks to the past few days, he had plenty of prime wank material. His mind went first to that lazy afternoon on the hammock. Dan had looked so beautiful riding his dick, and that image would be stuck in his brain for a long time. He increased the speed of his hand as he remembered the escapades (sexcapades?) of that next day. He had savored Dan many times that day, each more delicious than the last. He brought his hand back down to the base of his cock and started to twist it, thankful he had thoroughly soaped up, and enjoying the slippery sensation. Although the previous day wasn’t as adventurous as the others, it was its simplicity that made it stand out in Phil’s mind, and caused his dick to twitch in his palm.

Phil jumped as he felt another hand join his own. His eyes snapped open and were met with brown. Dan smiled wickedly.

“You just couldn’t wait, could you?”

He pumped his hand and Phil felt the heat pool in his belly.

Dan leaned in and whispered in Phil’s ear.

“Do you want it?”

Phil nodded desperately, and Dan lowered himself down. For the second time that week, Dan was on his knees on the shower floor, mouth around Phil’s cock, and he loved it. He sucked greedily, and it wasn’t long before Phil was coming down his throat in hot spurts. Swallowing it down, he smiled up at him.

“Well that’s my breakfast sorted.” Dan joked, standing up.

“What about you?”

Dan waved his hand nonchalantly.

“I’ll be fine.”

Phil held his gaze with smoldering eyes.

“Touch yourself for me, sweetheart.”

Dan swallowed thickly. He could never get enough of Phil like this. He reached down and started to stroke himself, holding eye contact with Phil. He increased his speed, never flinching from the others gaze, and bit his lip. Phil leaned over and took that lip in between his own teeth, and tugged gently. Dan, who had been thinking about this all morning, didn’t need much to push him over the edge. Phil suspected this, and he brought his hand to Dan’s balls, carefully fondling them. He came with his head buried in Phil’s shoulder. Dan, blissed out and slumped against Phil, felt his hot breath in his ear.

“So, what was the surprise you had planned, love?”

“Give me a moment.” Dan panted.

Phil laughed, and helped Dan clean himself off. Dan walked into the bedroom to grab a pair of pants for the both of them. He tossed the brighter pair at Phil, but they sailed over his shoulder.

"I thought I was supposed to be the blind one" quipped Phil.

"I'm not blind, just extremely uncoordinated. Isn't that why you married me?" Dan shot back, picking up his straighteners and turning away from Phil to face the mirror.

“I can’t believe you’re so vain that you still straighten your hair every morning.”

“Excuuuuse me, Mr. ‘Of course I don’t dye my hair’, not all of us are born with naturally straight locks."

“I don’t!” Phil insisted.

“Philip, I am literally your husband, you don’t have to hide grey hair from me.”

Phil looked away, and Dan instantly knew he had hit a sore spot.

“Hey,” he said quietly, setting down the straightener, “c’mere.”

Phil ignored him, and brought his hands to his face, running his fingers over the fine lines that had begun to adorn his features.

“C’mere.” he said, louder.

Phil continued to ignore him.

“When did I get this old?” he said.

Dan very nearly cracked a sarcastic reply, but bit it back. Now was not the time. He walked up behind Phil, and brought his hands to rest on top of his husbands. He gently pulled them away from Phil’s face, and deposited them on the counter top.

“Do you know what I see when I look at those?”

Phil shook his head.

“Memories. Experiences. Moments I got to spend with you that burned so brightly they had to leave a mark.”

Phil managed a small smile as Dan leaned down and placed his chin on Phil’s shoulder.

“Every laugh, every fight, every good day, every bad one, is recorded on your face, and my dear, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You are still the gorgeous and amazing, yes I do know what I did there, man I married. You will always be perfect to me, you will always be beautiful to me. And if you don’t believe that, then you are even more of a turnip than I thought you were.”

Phil chuckled at that and Dan kissed his cheek.

“Now come on Mr. Turnip, we’ve got things to do.”

“Do I get a hint?”

“Absolutely not.”

Dan's morning routine took slightly longer. So when he walked out of the bathroom Phil already had on his jeans and was ruffling through a pile of flannel shirts, trying to find just the right one.

"Hand me one of those, will you?" He said.

"Changing up your aesthetic, Daniel?"

"Easier access." Dan winked.

"Does that count as a hint?"

"Maaaaybe, maaaybe not." Dan sing-songed as he hopped around the room, struggling to pull his jeans over his shapely legs. Already dressed, Phil made his way out of the room and down the stairs.

"I'll get the bikes ready." He called up.

"How did you know we needed those?" Dan called back.

"Just a hunch."

He could hear Dan's sigh before he gave in.

"Okay, we need the bikes. No more guessing!"

"Phil laughed as he walked out to the shed, wondering what exactly Dan had in mind.

When Dan eventually joined him outside, the first thing Phil noticed was that he was wearing a backpack.

“Wouldn’t it just be easier to put that in my basket?”

“No,” Dan replied stubbornly, “it will ruin the surprise.”

“Are we going to race again?”

“Obviously.” Dan said, as he hopped on his bike, attempting to get a head start.

“Oh no you don’t” Phil said as he swung his leg over his own bike, and pedaling fast. He passed Dan, and chuckled as Dan gave him the finger.

“We’re not there yet!” he bellowed.

Phil pedaled faster, and then slowed to an easy pace when he noticed Dan was no longer close. He also remembered he didn’t exactly know where he was heading as he came to a fork in the road. He stopped his bike, and waited for Dan to catch up. Five minutes later, Dan came speeding around the bend, disgruntled look on his face.

“You idiot, you didn’t even know where you were going.” Dan said, an affectionate smile threatening to break through his grumpy demeanor.

“I forgot.” Phil shrugged.

“We’re not even going to right direction.”

“Oh. Maybe you should lead the way.”

Dan groaned, and Phil heard him grumbling to himself as he turned his bike around. Phil followed and eventually they arrived at a small pond, surrounded by patches of wildflowers. Dan hopped off his bike and set to work, pulling out a large quilt and spreading it out. He grabbed a paper bag and a container and placed them on the quilt. Phil gravitated towards him, and sat down cross legged as his watched Dan prepare their meal. When he was done, Phil surveyed the spread before him.

"Scones, clotted cream, and strawberries? How decidedly English of you, Dan."

Dan picked up a scone, and pantomimed throwing it at Phil. Phil grinned, his tongue sticking out of his mouth slightly as he did so.

“How long have you been planning this?” He asked.

“I came up with the idea last weekend, do you like it?”

The strawberries were slightly bruised from their journey, and the scones had gone cold, but it was the most perfect picnic Phil had ever seen. It didn’t help that Dan, the person next to him in his life, his husband, his lover, his best friend, was looking at him with such love and adoration as Phil took in the scene in front of him.

“It’s perfect, Dan.”

Dan blushed and pulled out a bottle of champagne.

“I sort of forgot to bring ice, so we don’t have to drink this if you don’t want to.”

“Remember when we tried to do champagne body shots on our wedding night?”

“Only you would suggest that, Phil.”

“It sounded sexy!”

“I remember it being very sticky.”

“Yeah, but I cleaned you up just fine.” Phil winked.

“With your tongue! Like a frickin’ cat!”

"I didn't hear any complaints from you."

Dan closed his eyes, lost in the memory.

"Are we just going to reminisce, or can we eat? I didn't have breakfast on your orders, remember?" Phil said, as his stomach growled loudly.

"I was thinking we could swim first." Dan suggested.

"Daniel James, if you don't let me eat so help me..."

"Okay, okay," Dan held up his hands in surrender, "but don't come crying to me when you get a stomach cramp."  
"I don't plan on exerting myself very much." Phil snorted through a mouthful of scone. Dan rolled his eyes as Phil sprayed crumbs everywhere.

"You weren't joking about being hungry."

Phil made a face as he shoved a second scone in, not even bothering with the cream this time. Dan picked up a strawberry and dipped it in the cream, watching his husband eat. He had eaten a quick bowl of cereal before his walk that morning, so he wasn't nearly as ravenous. Phil reached for a strawberry and paused, holding his stomach.

"I think I might have eaten too fast." He admitted.

Dan rolled his eyes.

"What did I fucking tell you?"

"I think I'm going to pass on the swimming. You go ahead and I'll watch." Phil winked.

"You're just trying to get me naked again."

"Always. Have you ever seen yourself naked?"

"Quite often actually." Dan said as he unbuttoned his shirt. Phil's eyes never left Dan's chest, and he licked his lips.

"Enjoying the view?" Dan asked playfully, pulling the shirt off and twirling it over his head. He brought his hand to his crotch and ran it up to the button on his jeans, holding eye contact with Phil. He pulled his jeans and boxers off in one swift motion and kicked them aside. He slapped his own ass and winked at Phil. He seductively walked towards the water and it reached his knees before he shouted.

“Jesus on a boat! This is cold!”

Phil cracked up, doubling over as Dan ran out of the freezing water.

“The quilt! Oh my god Phil, get the quilt!” Dan yelled through chattering teeth. Phil picked it open and held it open. Dan ran into it, and Phil immediately wrapped him up. Dan snuggled into Phil, slowly beginning to warm up.

“Today isn’t exactly going to plan.” he mumbled into the others chest. Phil rubbed his back soothingly.

“Today has been absolutely perfect.” he assured Dan. Dan smiled a small smile and allowed himself to be led away from the edge of the pond and into a sitting position, quilt still wrapped around his body. Luckily the contents of their lunch had survived the upset, and Phil put them back in Dan’s bag.

“You know, I would warm up faster if you took your clothes off.”

“I don’t think it works that way,” Phil laughed. “Now shut up and spoon me.”

Laying on his side, Dan opened up the quilt, allowing Phil to crawl in and snuggle back against him. Phil felt his clothes dampening slightly, but he didn’t mind. He felt Dan’s breathing slow beside him as he drifted off to sleep, and Phil joined him not long after.

Phil woke up to a strange sensation on his stomach. He opened his eyes and looked down to see what it was. A small bird had landed there, and it was staring back at him.

"Dan, Dan!" he whispered, trying very hard to be quiet and not disturb the small creature. "Dan! A bird landed on me, look!" he whispered.

"Yes...yes...you are...the forest prince..." Dan mumbled, still caught up in his delicious nap.

Phil reached over to shake Dan's shoulder, and frowned as the action caused the bird to fly away. Dan would never believe him now. Phil gave Dan’s shoulder a disgruntled shove, and accidentally rolled Dan onto his back. Startled, Dan flailed his arms, nearly hitting himself and Phil in the face. Phil moved out of the way just in time, and Dan sat up, looking confused.

“How long were we out?” He asked.

“Pretty much the whole day, from the looks of it. It looks like the sun will be setting soon.” Phil said.

“Did I miss anything while I was asleep?”

“I only woke up a few minutes before you, but a bird landed on me.”

“No it didn’t, Phil.” Dan rolled his eyes.

"No, I'm serious, a bird really landed on me. We had a moment, it was beautiful." Phil insisted.

"Oh yeah, you’re bloody effing Snow White, Phil.” Dan said sarcastically. He looked over at the open backpack and noticed a container sticking out.

"What are we going to do with all of these leftover strawberries?"

"I think I have an idea." Phil said, eyes crinkling as he giggled. He picked one up, and squashed the juicy berry between his fingers before dragging it across Dan’s neck. He lapped up the juice pooling in the others clavicle, tongue working to get every last drop. Dan moaned as Phil sucked at his neck, fingers threaded through ebony hair. Phil grabbed another berry and bit the tip off. He ran it over Dan’s chest and across his nipples. Phil took another bite and pressed the fruit to Dan’s left nipple and pressed it until droplets of red ran down his chest. He repeated the action on the other one, juice flowing.

“Open your mouth.” he said.

Dan did, and Phil placed the berry on his tongue. Dan chewed and swallowed, waiting to see what Phil would do next. He didn’t have to wait long before Phil brought his head down and took Dan’s right nipple in his mouth. He swirled his tongue languidly and Dan shuddered. He felt Phil’s laugh rumble against his chest. He took the other one in between his fingers and twisted gently, causing Dan to squeal. Phil continued licking and sucking until all the strawberry juice was gone from Dan’s chest. Both men were painfully hard, and Phil hurriedly unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down his boxers far enough to free his erection. Dan moved to climb on top of Phil, but Phil stopped him.

“Lube?” He panted out.  
Dan pointed to the backpack, and Phil leaned to retrieve the bottle. He covered his dick, and started to put some on his finger. Dan stopped him.

“I think I’m okay.” He said.

“At least let me do one, for me.”

Dan sat up on his knees, giving Phil access. Phil slowly inserted a lube covered digit into Dan and curled his finger, watching the waves of pleasure flutter across Dan’s features. Phil pulled his finger out of Dan, and Dan eagerly climbed on top of him again. He sank down with a satisfied moan. Phil bucked up into Dan, his fingers leaving bruises on his hips, as bits of pink and orange streaked across the sky.

“Describe the sunset to me.” Dan said.

“I can turn us around.” Phil offered.

“No, I want to see it from your perspective.”

“Are you sure?”

Dan cupped his cheeks and looked into his eyes.

“Philip Michael Lester, I am absolutely sure I want you to fuck me while talking about the sunset.”

Phil wrapped his arms around Dan and Dan rode him lazily.

“The sky is just beginning to change, the blues are starting to turn purple. There’s pink and gold and orange and oh god, it’s so beautiful.” Phil breathed.  
“Yeah, it is.” Dan said.

“You’re not even loo--oh.”

Dan laughed and pecked his nose.

“You will always rival the sunset to me, you dork.”

The sun was setting fast, and Phil decided he didn’t want Dan to miss the whole thing.

“Get off, turn around, on your hands and knees.” he ordered. Dan hopped off and did as he was told. Phil entered him from behind and resumed his fast pace as the last bits of color left the sky and they were blanketed in darkness. The night was still, the only sounds were Dan’s tiny gasps and the faint slapping of skin as Phil continued to thrust. He leaned over Dan, and grabbed his hard cock, stroking it quickly, and Dan let out an appreciative moan. Phil bit into Dan’s shoulder as they came together, panting heavily. Phil pulled out, and sat down with a thump. He flopped down backwards, nearly hitting his head on a large stone. Dan missed this. He was still on all fours, soaking in the night sky and the sore feeling in his ass. His arms finally gave in, and he collapsed. He turned over and scooted so that his head was by Phil's feet, and his feet by Phil’s head. Phil poked him in the nose with his big toe, and Dan brushed him off. They lay there in silence, until it was broken by Dan. He poked Phil in the calf and pointed up.

“See that star?”

“Yeah?”

“It says you’re a nerd.”

Phil reached down and patted Dan’s stomach.

“As long as I’m your nerd.”

Dan sat up quickly.

“I almost forgot! There’s a second part to the surprise!”


	5. The Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan's got another surprise for Phil

Louise pulled up to the front of Dan and Phil's house, or the Phan Palace, as she had taken to calling it secretly. She was glad Dan had asked her to dog sit. Darcy was away at the same camp as Dan and Phil's children, and she missed her terribly. Dan had come to her a few days before to confide his plan. He wanted to take Phil away. Not really away, just to a small bed and breakfast the next town over, but Louise still found it extremely romantic. She walked up and rang the doorbell. There was no answer. She tried to peek through a front window and was greeted by the sight of Larry pressing his furry face against the glass. She pulled out her phone and snapped a picture. She sent it to both Dan and Phil with the caption "where are you :(". She waited less than a minute for an answer before rummaging through a flower pot by the door and pulling out the spare key. She let herself in and was greeted with the clacking nails of an overexcited Larry as he barreled towards her.

"Oof!" She exclaimed, as she was nearly knocked over. "Calm down, you silly beast!"

“Mr. and Mr. Lester! Your dog-sitter has arrived!” She called, dramatically. Her words echoed around the empty house, and she soon realized they really weren’t home. Louise took the opportunity to snoop a bit, pushing away the slight guilt. Dan and Phil should really expect this by now. As if on cue, she heard the front door burst open as the two men stumbled inside.

“So sorry, Louise!” Dan called, “we were meant to be home hours ago but we fell asleep...how did you get in?”

“Spare key!” She called back from upstairs.

“So why exactly did we have to rush home?” Phil asked.

Dan glanced at the clock and groaned.

“I had a whole day planned out. We were supposed to have high tea, and do whatever dumb cutesy couple things you’re supposed to do when you’re trying to spoil the one you love.”

Phil wiped away Dan’s tears of frustration with his thumb.

“Shh, love, it’s okay, it really is. I can have high tea with you anytime. The most important thing to me is that I spent the day with you, which, let me remind you, is not over yet.”

Dan smiled, eyes still glistening.

“How do you manage to stay so positive all the time?”

“Years and years of practice.”

“We better hurry then.” Dan said, “Will you call a car while I grab our bag?”

“Bag?”

“Yes, an overnight bag. Typically used when one is staying overnight somewhere. Now hurry! We might still be able to make it.” He ran off leaving a very confused Phil in his wake. Phil did as Dan asked and soon a sleek black car pulled up to the front of their house. Dan came running down the stairs, closely followed by Louise.

"Bye, Louise! Thanks Louise! See you tomorrow Louise!" He shouted as he rushed down the staircase and out the front door. Phil took the time to give her a proper hug goodbye.

"Do you have any idea where he's taking me?" He whispered.

"Naughty Phil," she laughed, "I've been sworn to secrecy."

Phil pretended to pout, and kissed her on the cheek quickly before running out the door with a quick "bye!"

He joined an impatient Dan in the back of the car, and they were off.

A short time later, their car pulled up in front of a cream colored, Victorian style house.

"What's this?" asked Phil.

"The second half of your surprise.”

“When you said we were spending the night somewhere, I just didn’t expect it to be quite like this.”

“You don’t like it?” Dan frowned.

“I love it,” Phil smiled.

“I chose it ironically.” Dan joked and Phil rolled his eyes.

“I was hoping you had outgrown that.”

They checked in at the front desk and made their way upstairs. Phil opened the door to their room. The first thing he noticed was an abundance of lace. Everywhere.

"Well I can see why you chose this place," he said dryly, "really matches your aesthetic."

Dan eyed the small bed with apprehension.

"There is no way this is going to fit the both of us."

Phil snorted.

"You would manage to pick the tiniest bed and breakfast in the entirety of Britain."

Dan laid down on the bed, his legs hanging comically off of the end. He curled his knees to his chest, and took up almost the entire bed.

"I'm never going to be able to fall asleep like this." Dan complained.

"I guess I'll just have to tire you out then." Phil winked.

"Jesus Christ, Phil. Can you please try and keep it in your pants for a bit? We should at least make an appearance at dinner first."

"Ughhhh, fine, if I must."

Dan poked his nose and grinned.

"Yes, you must. We didn't eat lunch today. Aren't you starving?"

"A little bit." Phil admitted.

“Well come on then.” Dan said, nearly dragging him down the hall. They joined the other guests at the table where they were being served chicken, vegetables, and fluffy looking rolls that made Dan’s mouth water. Dan and Phil helped themselves, and were quickly caught up in conversation with the other guests. Towards the end of dinner, Dan excused himself from the table. Phil didn’t realize anything was up until his phone buzzed while making small talk with the other guests. When he saw the message was from Dan he was confused, until he opened it and gasped. He looked around furtively to see if anyone else has noticed his reaction. To his relief, everyone else was too engrossed in their current discussion. Dan had sent him a picture of his dick. Phil felt himself growing hard, and it only took a moment of deliberation before he excused himself as well and nearly ran up the stairs. He found Dan in the communal bathroom, lazily stroking himself, cheeky grin on his face.

“What are you doing?” Phil hissed, “Anyone could walk in!”

“Lock the door then.”

“I think people are going to be suspicious if we’re both up here.”

“Make it quick then.” Dan winked.

Phil grabbed Dan’s right hand and held it over his head with his left, intertwining their fingers, and pumped Dan’s dick furiously. Dan responded in kind, pulling and twisting on Phil’s erection while moaning into his mouth. Phil deepened the kiss and ran his thumb through Dan’s slit. Dan bucked up into his hand, gasping softly. He came over both of their hands and with a groan Phil followed. He reached behind him to grab a monogrammed hand towel to clean them off.

“This feels so wrong.” Dan whispered.

“Why are you whispering?”

“I feel like we violated this place, oh my god, what have we done.”

“I believe you started this Daniel.” Phil smirked.

“I just wanted to fuck with you.” Dan insisted,

“Well, you got your wish.”

“Should we go back downstairs? It might be really awkward.”

“I thought awkward was supposed to be your specialty.” Phil laughed.

“We literally smell like sex.”

Phil spied a small bottle of air freshener on the windowsill. He picked it up and spritzed the air, walking through it. He motioned for Dan to do the same.

“Oh that’s so helpful, Phil. Now we’re going to smell like sex and,” he took the bottle, “open window.”

“What does open window smell like?”

“I don’t know, stick your head out and see.”

Phil pretended to reach for the window, and Dan rolled his eyes, playfully swatting his hand away.

“Let’s go back downstairs before anyone gets suspicious.”

When they returned, dinner had finished, and the other guests had moved to the couches in the lounge. Dan and Phil joined them, and tried to act natural while making small talk with everyone. Dan absent-mindedly began running his hand along Phil’s thigh. It wasn’t until Phil swatted his hand away that he iced the growing bulge in Phil’s jeans and looked at him, surprised. He had never seen the other man recover so quickly. Trying to remain inconspicuous, he handed Phil a pillow to hold over his crotch. Phil shook his head and subtly pointed up. Dan stood up quickly.

“Well everyone, I think we’re just going to call it a night. Had a busy few days.” he said, faking a large yawn. He grabbed Phil’s hand and tugged him up.

“Goodnight!” they both called as they hurried up the stairs.

As soon as they reached their room, Phil pressed his mouth to Dan’s, running his tongue along Dan’s teeth until Dan parted his lips. He slipped his tongue inside as the kiss grew more heated. Clothes went flying in every direction as they hurried to undress each other. Phil pushed Dan onto the bed and Dan brought his knees to his chest.

"Lube?"

Dan pointed to the overnight bag sitting forgotten in the corner. Phil hurried over and pulled out the bottle, squirting it on his fingers as he moved back over Dan. He slowly prepped him as Dan hissed from the pressure. Phil pulled out his fingers and Dan whined at the empty feeling. Dan flipped over on his stomach and he slowly slid inside. Phil fucked Dan into the frilly duvet, the small mattress squeaking underneath. One lacy pillow fell off after a particularly hard thrust, and Dan shoved his fist in his mouth to stifle his moans. The bed sagged with their combined weight, and for a moment Dan was concerned they were going to add it to the list of furniture they had broken during sex. Thanks to their earlier activities, it didn’t take long before Phil was coming inside Dan, head thrown back, moaning his name as Dan writhed beneath him. Somehow Dan had managed to come untouched, staining the duvet underneath them. He quickly rolled over.

“Fuck, we really should have put a towel down or something.”

“It’s okay, we can just ask for a new one.”

“Phil, what the hell, they’ll know.”

“Dan, I can guarantee you that we are not the first couple to bang in this bed, and we won’t be the last.”

Brushing aside Dan’s fringe, he placed a kiss on his sweaty forehead and walked out of the room. Dan shifted around the bed, trying to find a comfortable position. He sighed as he was unsuccessful, and cursed himself for being so fucking tall. He picked up the offending cover, and dragged it to the bathroom to try and alleviate some of the damage. When he walked back in the room he noticed that he had knocked all the pillows on the floor. He went to pick them up when an idea hit him. Phil entered the room with an armful of pillows, quilts and blankets, nearly hitting his head on the low doorway.

"I mentioned to the owner that we would need a few extras, and she gave us all of these."

"Just add them to our little nest." Dan said as he arranged pillows on the floor.

“Our what?”

“We can’t fucking fit on that bed, Phil. I’m improvising.”

"I'm sorry we have to sleep on the floor." Phil said.

"It's fine," Dan replied, "it's almost like a blanket fort."

Phil smiled. He remember all the times they had built blanket forts, and all the activities that had gone on inside. Dan, noticing Phil's grin, held up a finger.

"No. No. No more tonight. I am tired, my ass is sore, and I don't want to scar the people next to us any more than we already have, now get over here and cuddle me." He opened his arms and made grabby hands at Phil. Phil chuckled and lowered himself onto the floor. He crawled over the Dan, and was quickly enveloped. Dan wrapped his arms and legs snugly around Phil, and Phil burrowed into his chest.

The next morning Dan woke up, still tangled around Phil. He was tempted to go back to sleep, but nature was calling. He pulled on a pair of joggers and a tee shirt, and made his way to the bathroom. After he was finished, he caught the scent of pancakes wafting up from downstairs. His stomach grumbled loudly, and he went to go wake Phil up. Phil looked so peaceful sleeping on their makeshift bed, Dan decided to let him get up on his own. He headed down the stairs, and was greeted by the sight of the other guests and the owner eating breakfast. He grabbed a few on his plate and snagged a chair at a table for two.

"Did you gentlemen manage to get any sleep last night?" The elderly owner asked, a knowing smile on her lips. The other guests tittered as Dan choked on his pancakes and blushed crimson.

"Never you mind, dear. I remember when I was your age." She winked and patted his hand. Dan turned an even darker shade of red and was relieved when Phil finally made his way to the small dining area.

"What did I miss?"  
The entire table broke out in laughter, as Phil's face changed to match his husbands.

“So much for being discreet.” He said, trying to hide his embarrassment.  
One guest held up their cup of coffee.

"May your love, and sex drive, never die as you age!"

"Cheers!" The other guests echoed, laughing merrily.

Recovering from his mortification, Phil sat on Dan's lap, and was instantly wrapped in his arms.

"Cheers." Dan whispered in his ear.


	6. The Attic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil take some time to clean their attic and take another trip down memory lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly idk what this chapter is

_"This speech is my recital, I think it's very vital_

_T_ _o rock (a rhyme), that's right (on time)_

_It's Tricky is the title, here we go..."_

Phil rolled over and buried his head under his pillow. Stupid neighbors in the upstairs flat always blasting their music. His eyes snapped open. He wasn't in London, he wasn't in their old flat, and why was the bed shaking?

_"It's Tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time_

_It's Tricky...it's Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky)"_

He looked up to see Dan, clad only in his boxers and a pair of Phil’s socks, jumping on the bed.

"Daniel, what on earth are you doing?"

"Waking your old ass up!" Dan said, gleefully, ducking to avoid the pillow Phil tossed his way. He continued to bounce on the balls of his feet, enjoying Phil's reaction more than he should. The music came to an abrupt stop as Phil located Dan's phone and turned off the offending music.

"Phiiiiil," Dan whined, "I was listening to that."

"No, none of this nonsense before coffee." Phil groaned, throwing his arm over his eyes to block out the rays of sun streaming through the window. The day before had gone by in a blur. Dan and Phil returned home from the bed & breakfast a little embarrassed, but otherwise happy and content. That feeling went away when they spotted their to-do list on their fridge. Phil, ever so organized, had made a list of things for them to accomplish while their children were away, and they had tackled none of it. Their day was busy and long and they barely remembered to undress and kiss each other goodnight before falling into bed, totally exhausted. To say Phil was not amused with this wake up call was an understatement. Dan quickly got the message, and scrambled off the bed. Giving a disgruntled Phil a quick peck on the cheek, he hurried downstairs to make coffee for them both. He usually didn’t drink hot beverages unless Phil made them, but this morning he made an exception. He switched on the kettle and reached down to scratch Larry behind the ears.

“Morning, boy, did you have fun with Louise? Sorry we didn’t spend much time with you yesterday.”  
He crouched down and buried his face in the soft fur of the dog's neck. Larry tried his best to lick Dan’s face, but Dan pushed him away, laughing.

“Sorry, you’re not the one I want morning kisses from.”

“What’s this I hear about morning kisses?”  
Dan looked up as Phil padded into the room, hair messy from sleep. He stopped to clean his glasses on his shirt, and Dan stared unabashedly at the sliver of skin that was revealed.

“So, morning kisses?” Phil inquired, snapping Dan out of his dirty thoughts.

Dan stood up and walked over to Phil, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"Good morning." he said, brightly.

"Good morning," Phil responded, "why so chipper?"

"Just looking forward to spe--" he stopped mid-sentence to look past Phil to the fridge.

"Shit Phil, we forgot something on the list."

"Crap, what was it?"

"Cleaning the attic. We've been putting it off for ages."

“Can we at least eat something decent first?” Phil sighed, “We barely had anything yesterday except for breakfast.”

"Say no more, Chef Dan will whip you up something to knock your socks off!"

Phil rolled his eyes.

"So, Shreddies?"

"Yes, Shreddies."

They sat and ate quietly at the kitchen table, enjoying each other's company and the comfortable silence that came with being together for so long. They finished at roughly the same time and Dan picked up their bowls, giving Phil an affectionate pat on the hand as he did so. Depositing the bowls in the sink, he turned around and clapped his hands, breaking the stillness that had settled over the kitchen.

"Up up up, lazy bones." He teased.

"Why are you so eager?"

"Maybe I fancy another trip down memory lane."

"We've been taking a lot of those lately." Phil remarked.

"Well, maybe we should stop making so many good memories." Dan retorted. He turned quickly, poised to run off.

"Wanna race?"

"Depends, are you going to clean the attic in your pants?"

Dan looked down.

"Good point. Last one to get dressed loses." He cried as he sped off.

Phil rolled his eyes. Dan was always so competitive, a habit that would probably never go away. Sometimes in the middle of a heated game of monopoly or fake wrestling, he would forget they were 37 and 41 instead of 24 and 28, or even 19 and 23. He followed after Dan at a much slower pace, curious about what they would find, and if they could bear to part with any of it. He walked into their room just as Dan was pulling a shirt over his head, his jeans already on. Phil walked up to him and ghosted a hand over his belly.

"What a shame to cover all this up." He whispered seductively.

Dan started at the sudden contact, and tangled his long arms in his shirt. There came a muffled "fuck" from inside the garment and Phil laughed as he helped Dan to pull it down.

"What would you do without me?"

"Well for starters, I wouldn't have gotten stuck in the first place."

Phil kissed his forehead.

"Sorry love, couldn't resist." He said as he grabbed his own clothes and dressed quickly. He looked up and realized Dan had already left the room. Curious, he stuck his head into the hallway.

"Daniel? Where are you?"

"In here!" he called from the guest bedroom that held the door to the attic, "I beat you!"

"I wasn't aware we were still racing."

"We're always racing." Dan winked as he ran up the stairs. Phil tried to one up him by taking them two at a time, much to Dan's chagrin.

"You know I hate when you do that." he shuddered.

"Gotta keep up with you somehow."

Dan stuck out his tongue and walked over to a large stack of boxes in the corner. He opened a box labeled **Phil-old house**.

“Old house, like your parents old house? When did you sneak this in here?”

“It’s been here forever, Dan. You just never come up here.”

“We live in a large, old, house in the country. Obviously the attic is haunted."

“If you really believe it’s haunted, then why are you up here?”

“Because you are.”

Phil smiled, and walked further into the dimly lit attic.

“Speaking of haunted, guess what I just found.”

He patted his old costume trunk from their YouTube days.

Dan started digging through the box.

“We still haven’t addressed why you have this--oh my god why is this filled with lions?”

"Oh god," Phil chuckled, "remember when I got so many lions in the post I had to ask people to stop sending them?"

Dan nodded

"Well, here they are." He gestured to the box.

Dan laughed merrily.

"Phil, there's at least a hundred lions in here, don't you think you can part with a few?"

Phil pretended to deliberate.

"I guess we can donate this box, as long as you promise to let me keep Lion and Lioness"

"Yes Phil, I would make you get rid of them, I would make you do that, that's totally a thing I would do, it's not like they mean as much to you as they do to me." He said sarcastically. Then he registered Phil's earlier comment.

"You found the trunk? Let's open it!"

"Calm down, eager beaver."

"Wait," Dan pulled out his phone, "if we're doing this, we're doing it with fucking background music. Luckily, I have just the thing."

He pressed a button and the absolute last song Phil expected to hear poured out.

"Dan, was this the source of my wake up call?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny that yes, this is the same song I used to wake you up"

Phil crossed his arms.

"Well it certainly is an interesting choice."

Dan danced his way across the attic, occasionally stopping to blow silly kisses at Phil.

You are so strange." Phil laughed as he reached out to catch the kisses.

"Hey!" Dan called from across the attic "it's good to be strange. Normalness leads to sadness, remember?"

"Out of all the things I've ever said, I can't believe that quote is my fucking legacy."

The song changed and Dan recognized the opening notes.

"Whatta man, whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty good man.” he sang loudly, and off key, catching the last bit of the chorus before attempted to rap the next part. Phil closed their distance with three quick strides and shut him up with a kiss. Dan laughed against his mouth, and deepened the kiss until Phil pulled back.

"Salt-n-Pepa?" he winced.

“Of course, were you expecting something different?" Dan snickered as he gyrated his hips to the catchy beat.

"What on earth are you doing?" Phil asked, amused.

“I’m dancing Phil, why must we go over this every time?”

“Does this one have a colorful name as well?”

“Yes, it's the ‘I made a weird attic cleaning playlist and I’m going to fucking dance my ass off to it’ dance.”

Phil raised his eyebrows.

“That’s certainly a mouthful.” he grinned, and Dan cracked up.

“I feel like I put more effort into these names than I do the actual dancing.”

Dan turned around and leaned over, shaking his butt in the air. Phil gave it a playful swat.

"Ouch." Dan pretended to pout. Phil swatted again, harder this time. Dan stood up and spun around, invading Phil's space. Electricity crackled between them and Phil felt his face heat up at the sudden change in mood. He closed his eyes in anticipation. Dan leaned down to kiss him, his lips lightly pressed against Phil's, before he giggled and spun away. The song changed, and Phil reached for Dan, who backed away, giggling.

"Can't touch this, Phil." He teased.

Phil grabbed a feather boa from the trunk and slung it over Dan’s head. It rested on his waist and Phil pulled him closer, Dan was caught off guard and allowed himself to be drawn forward until his chest was flush with Phil’s. His breath caught in his throat as Phil leaned in to kiss him, softly, once, and then pulled away.

“Two can play at this game.’ he smirked.

"Screw you." Dan said, no venom behind his words. He leaned over to pop the lid on the trunk, still determined to tease Phil. Phil ignored his display, instead smiling widely as he viewed the inside of his trunk full of memories. He let out a squeal like a small child and rushed forward to inspect the contents.

"Hey, remember these?" he pulled out a pair of fake gauges and put them on, "what do you think?"

"I don't know, I still think your personality is too adorable for it."

"Cut the crap, Dan. You didn't think it was too adorable when I fucked you against the wall after we finished filming."

Dan blushed and rummaged through the trunk quickly, looking for a subject change. His eyes settled on a pair of fake vampire fangs and a cape.

"Look, Phil!" Dan put the plastic fangs in his mouth and swept the black cape dramatically over his shoulder, "I'm a Danpire!"

"Dan, those have been in that box for over a decade, that's disgusting."

Dan ripped the offending piece of plastic out of his mouth and it sailed across the room. Phil laughed as he pulled out a red blindfold.

"Remember this?"

Dan grinned.

"You know, we never actually used that for anything other than videos."

"Yeah, what a shame." Phil said, looking over at Dan, gauging his reaction.

Dan caught Phil staring and blushed.

"I dunno Phil, aren't we a little old to experiment with stuff like that?"

"Hmm, I seem to remember you telling me once, and I'm paraphrasing, that you wanted me to tie you up."

"Phil, I was 18, and trying to get you to notice me."

"And it worked" Phil winked.

The song in the background changed again.

“I still can’t believe this was made by teenage muse fanboy number two.” Phil said, shaking his head in disbelief.

Dan threw a pair of cat ears at him.

“I made it ironically."

"Aren't you a little old to be using that excuse."

"Nope.” he said as the chorus began. He stood up and started to jump around.

"Daniel, stop you'll fall through the floor!"

"YOLO, Phil."

"Yes, you will when you crash through the ceiling and break your neck."

"Such a mother hen." Dan chided, but he stopped jumping.

Phil breathed a sigh of relief.

"For a moment there I thought you were going to make a widow out of me."

"Wouldn't you be a widower?"

Phil made a face.

"Either way I would have to explain to our children that their father fell through the ceiling and died dancing to possibly the worst song in the entire world."

"Ouch, Phil, what did House of Pain ever do to you?"

Phil glared.

"Glad to see you've got your priorities straight."

Sensing the tension, Dan stepped forward and gripped Phil's shoulders, leaning in to press his forehead against his husband's.

"I'm sorry, okay? Don't worry, you're stuck with me forever."

Phil let out a small chuckle.

"That's the plan."

His eyes roamed the attic, and he spotted a box that he knew contained their old cameras. He ripped the top open, and giggled at the outdated technology.

"Dan! Dan, come look at this!"

Dan ambled over, and looked over Phil's shoulder.

"Oh my god," he exclaimed, "I haven't seen these in years."

"Well we haven't exactly needed them." Phil reminded him.

Dan looked at the red blindfold, Phil, and the camera.

“We should play the ‘what’s in my mouth challenge’.” Dan laughed.

“A challenge, Daniel? That’s so unlike you.”

They maintained eye contact, both waiting for the other to falter.

"So, are we doing this?" Dan asked.

Phil shrugged, faking nonchalance.

"I don't care, if it's really something you want to do," he smirked, "but I'm going first."

"Of course," Dan replied, "wait, which side?"

Phil quirked an eyebrow.

"Oh right." Dan laughed.

Phil turned around and leaned in close, his breath hot in Dan's ear.

"Go downstairs, living room couch, strip to your pants, and put on the blindfold."

Dan shivered at Phil's tone, and did as he was told. Phil grabbed the necessary camera equipment, taking his time to give Dan extra time to prepare.

When he walked downstairs ten minutes later, Dan was sat on the couch in the living room, and red blindfold covering his eyes. Phil sat up the camera and pressed record.

“Why are we filming this again?”

“Memories? Nostalgia? Material for the next time you go out of town?”

Phil could feel Dan roll his eyes even if he couldn’t see them.

“You are shameless, Phil Lester.”

“You know it, babe.” he winked, turning towards the camera.

‘Hey guys,” he waved, “today we’re going to be playing the ‘what's in my mouth" challenge”

“Do you really have to do all that? It’s fucking creepy, Phil.”

“Sorry, old habits die hard, I guess.” he said as he walked back over to Dan, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

“Are you ready, Daniel?”

Dan nodded excitedly, and Phil nipped at his earlobe.

“Can you see anything?”

Dan shook his head. Phil waved his hand in front of his face, and was satisfied when Dan didn’t flinch. He ran his finger along Dan’s lips.

“Open up.”

Dan obliged, and Phil placed his finger inside. Dan sucked on it looking up at Phil, forgetting for a moment that his eyes were covered. Phil could picture it perfectly, Dan's eyes hooded and filled with desire. He tried to contain a moan as he pulled his finger out.

"What was that?" he asked, keeping his voice as steady as possible.

Dan pretended to deliberate.

‘Your...toe?”

Phil reached out and tweaked a nipple.

“Don’t be an ass.”

“Don’t make this so fucking easy.”

“Sorry, there’s only so many body parts I can stick in your mouth before it gets weird.”

“Is the next one going to be your tongue?”

“Nooo,” Phil said defensively, “dammit, okay, yes.”

“Does this mean I’m winning?” Dan asked, a smug look on his face.

“This isn’t a game.”

“I thought you said it was a game.”

“Fine, it’s a game.”

“Oh gee, I wonder what’s coming next.” Dan said sarcastically as he heard the familiar sound of Phil unzipping his jeans.

"Hush, and play along." Phil reprimanded, reaching out to give Dan’s hair a tug. Dan faked a grimace and opened his mouth obediently. Phil carefully guided his cock into Dan's eager and waiting mouth, until the underside of the tip rested on the others tongue. Dan reached up to touch Phil, but Phil was quicker. He caught Dan's wrist easily.

"Uh uh uh," he chided, "that's cheating."

Dan leaned forward to take more of Phil. Their game was quickly pushed from Phil's mind as he felt the warm heat of his husband's mouth around his dick. Dan pulled off, intending to lick up the prominent vein on Phil's hard cock, a place he could find even with his eyes closed, when Phil caught his chin and forced his head up.

"I'm going to fuck your face, are you okay with that?"

Dan nodded eagerly, practically drooling at the prospect. Dan moved forward, eyeing Phil’s dick hungrily. Phil guided his head forward until his dick was fully in Dan’s mouth. He started to thrust his hips slowly, giving Dan time to adjust. Dan moaned, and squeezed Phil’s hip, letting him know he could take it. Phil tangled his fingers in Dan’s hair as he began to thrust harder into his mouth. Dan felt Phil’s dick hit the back of his throat repeatedly, barely giving him any time to breathe. Dan moaned again, and Phil felt the sound reverberate through his body. Phil’s low, deep moans soon joined Dan’s high, breathy ones as he neared his climax.

“Dan, I’m gonna come.” he warned.

Dan blindly gave him a thumbs up, his other form of communication currently occupied, and Phil’s head fell back as he came down Dan’s throat. Dan swallowed every bit, tongue darting out to clean the last drops as Phil pulled his softening dick out of Dan’s mouth. He pulled the blindfold off Dan and Dan blinked at the brightness. He sank to his knees in front of Dan and mouthed at him through his boxers. Dan shuddered and moaned as Phil ran his fingers over Dan’s waistband tantalizingly before pulling them down, allowing Dan’s hard cock to spring free. Phil licked at the tip and Dan whined with pleasure.

"The blindfold makes it so much better tbh."

Phil's head popped up.

"Did you just say tbh?"

"I'm sorry, are we not role-playing as our younger selves?"

Phil huffed a laugh before taking Dan’s erection in his mouth. He sucked at the tip, locking eyes with Dan. Dan held his gaze until Phil took as much of him in his mouth as he could, and Dan’s eyes rolled back in his head as his breath quickened. He started to buck up into Phil's mouth. Phil held his thighs down and pulled up halfway.

"Careful, some of us were actually born with a gag reflex." he mumbled around a mouthful of dick. Dan couldn't understand his words, but the hands pressing into him sent a loud message. Phil moved his hands up to rest on Dan's waist as he started bobbing up and down enthusiastically. Dan ran his fingers through Phil’s hair, threading them in the ebony locks as he thrust erratically into Phil’s mouth. Dan felt the heat pool low in his belly and he gripped Phil’s hair tightly to warn him before coming in his mouth. Phil swallowed quickly and pulled off with a pop. He stood up slightly and leaned in to kiss Dan. Dan held up a hand.

“Go wash your mouth out first, you spoon.”

Phil sighed and went to the kitchen for a glass of water.

“Grab me one too!” Dan called to Phil’s retreating back as he sorted himself out.”

A little while later, Phil sat in his favorite chair. Dan sat on the floor, sipping a glass of water, his back between Phil's legs as Phil's worked his hands into Dan's tense shoulder muscles.

"You have a beautiful back," he said.

"Thank you." Dan replied, relaxing under Phil's firm touch.

"Tomorrow I'm going to come on it." He said casually, causing Dan to choke on his water.

"Phil, we have to finish the attic tomorrow."

"Nope, we've got plans." he winked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonus points if you know all the songs


	7. try new things?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (time jump) it's the night before their children come back, and Dan and Phil wind down the day together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look i remembered this existed (unfortunately) i wanted to get it finished before the new year, so here's a short little wrap up chapter ^_^

It was the night before their children were due to return home, and while Dan and Phil would mourn the loss of their much appreciated free time, they missed their children too much to mind. The day had been eventful, to say the least, starting with morning sex (prompted by a wet dream on Dan’s end, and some teasing from Phil), and ending with Phil attempting to make dinner while Dan bathed Larry, who had somehow got into the garden, and was extremely muddy.

Darkness had fallen by the time Dan and Phil finished their slightly disastrous dinner, and they stood on their balcony looking up at the night sky. Ever since they had moved into their current house, the balcony had quickly become one of their favorite places. Phil was standing behind Dan, arms wrapped around him snugly. Dan leaned back into Phil, savoring the warmth and security the other provided. In the tree next to their house, a bird squawked indignantly, and Phil flinched, a habit he had picked up after a bird pooped on his face a long time ago. Dan eyed the large oak tree with interest.

“Do you reckon I can get to the roof using that tree?” he asked Phil.

Phil's eyebrows shot up.

“What?” he asked, incredulously.

"Do you reckon," Dan pulled out of Phil’s grasp, walked over to the balcony railing, and grabbed  
onto a branch, "I can get to the roof," he gestured up with his other hand, "using this tree?" 

"I suppose so, but is that really a good idea?"

"Nope!" Dan smirked, "bring me that chair, will you?"

Phil obliged, curious to see where this would lead.

"Have you ever climbed a tree before?"

Dan ignored the question. He stood on the chair and looked back at Phil.

"You gonna join me?"

“Try new things?”

“Try new things.” Dan smiled. 

Phil climbed up on the chair, and looked up at Dan. 

“How is this going to work, exactly?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we aren’t exactly small.”

“Do you trust me?”

Phil nodded. Dan held out his hand, and Phil grasped it. Using Dan as a support, he hauled himself up and onto the balcony railing. He reluctantly let go of Dan’s hand as the other man moved up a branch to make room for him in the tree. The oak shuddered under their weight, and Phil tensed. 

“This actually might not have been the best idea.” Dan admitted.

Phil glared at him.

“No shit.” he said as he climbed higher into the tree, and sat on the branch next to Dan.

Dan smiled cheekily at him.

“Dan and Phil sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!” He sang.

He closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss Phil. Phil scrambled to a higher branch and grinned down at Dan.

“Gotta catch me!” He taunted.

“Aren’t you a little old for that?”

“Shut up, in three years you'll be forty”

“Noooo, I’m going to stay young and pretty forever.” Dan insisted as he joined Phil on his branch.

Phil grabbed Dan’s face and kissed Dan’s cheeks and his forehead.

“You will.”

They were now close enough to climb onto the roof. Phil helped Dan up, and then scaled the remaining distance easily. Dan pretended to scowl at that, and Phil giggled. He flexed his arms.

“Are you jealous of these guns?” He joked.

Dan flexed his own arms.

“What are you talking about? I’ve got you beat.”

Phil giggled and and sat down on the slanted roof. He motioned for Dan to join him, and slipped an arm around his husband's waist. Dan returned the favor, pulling him close. Phil leaned his head on Dan’s shoulder, and Dan kissed the top of his head. In that moment, arms wrapped around each other and stars shining bright, they were 19 and 23 again, sitting at the top of the Manchester eye. They sat in silence, soaking in the moment, until Phil lifted up his head to look at Dan.

“How exactly are we going to get down from here?”

“We are such wonderful idiots.” Dan breathed as he grabbed Phil’s face and kissed him, mirroring a special moment from many years before.

**Author's Note:**

> What did y'all think?  
> (also thanks to my awesome beta! check him out on tumblr @thelinuxdemon and hit me up @goldfishsunglasses ^_^ )


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